The Question I Ask Myself
It's a question I ask myself often:
"What does my life teach others, just by how I live?"
Not out of ego, but out of responsibility. Because the truth is, people learn more from what we embody than from what we say.
Your kids don't remember your lectures. They remember how you treated their mother. Your team doesn't remember your strategy presentations. They remember how you handled pressure. Your friends don't remember your advice. They remember how you showed up when they needed you.
Every day, whether you intend to or not, your life is teaching something.
A Story From My Own Life
I used to give my wife Amy advice about health while eating takeaway three nights a week. I'd tell my clients about the importance of presence while checking my phone during dinner. I'd preach about courage while avoiding difficult conversations.
One day, Amy called me out. Not harshly. Just honestly.
"You talk about being intentional," she said, "but your life doesn't look that way."
That hit hard. Because she was right. The gap between my words and my life had become a canyon. And everyone could see it except me.
That moment became a turning point. I stopped asking what I should teach and started asking what my life was already teaching. The answer was uncomfortable. But discomfort is where growth lives.
The Path Not Taken
Early in my life, I saw the conventional blueprint clearly:
- School → grades → university → job → house → work → retire
It's the path millions follow. Some find meaning in it. Many don't. They just follow because it's there.
I dreamed of becoming a professional athlete, but that door closed quickly. I felt lost without a burning desire for university or trade work. Everyone around me seemed certain about their direction. I was certain only about my uncertainty.
What Scared Me Most
Rather than failure itself, I feared settling into a life of quiet desperation:
- Waking up dreading each day
- Living only for weekends
- Working 48 weeks annually for 4 weeks off
- Slowly losing my authentic self to the expectations of others
I understood that this path would compromise my capacity for meaningful relationships and personal fulfillment. I'd seen it happen to men I respected. They'd traded their dreams for security and spent the rest of their lives wondering "what if."
I didn't want to wonder. I wanted to know.
My Alternative Choice
I created a deliberately designed life:
- Training during peak energy hours when my body is primed
- Freedom to prioritize meaningful connections over busy work
- Days structured around personal values rather than paychecks
- Work that feels like contribution, not sacrifice
This is Clear Purpose, the third pillar of the Core 4, in action.
Clear Purpose doesn't mean you have all the answers. It means you're intentionally walking toward something that matters to you. Even when you're unsure, you're intentionally unsure.
The 58 Marathon Example
When I committed to 58 marathons in 58 days, I wasn't just challenging myself. I was building a life that taught something.
Every day people watched. Not just the running, everything. How I treated my crew when I was exhausted. How I responded when injuries threatened to end the challenge. How I showed up for the men who joined to run alongside me.
That challenge taught more than any speech I'll ever give. Not through words. Through embodiment.
On Day 47, a young man ran 10km with me and said, "I've been watching your journey. It made me sign up for my first marathon."
That's the power of a life that teaches. Not through instruction. Through example.
My Success Filter
Here's the question I use to evaluate my choices:
"If I were watching myself live each day, would I be proud? Would I be inspired by the direction I'm heading?"
This became my measure of success rather than external achievements or conventional milestones.
When I'm uncertain about a decision, I imagine watching a replay of my life. Would future-me respect the choice I'm about to make? Would the men I coach be inspired or disappointed?
That filter clarifies almost everything.
What Your Life Currently Teaches
Take an honest look at the past week. Not your intentions. Your actions.
If someone observed you without hearing your words, what would they learn about:
- How to treat a partner?
- How to handle stress?
- How to prioritize health?
- How to show up for friends?
- How to pursue meaningful work?
Your life is already teaching. The question is whether it's teaching what you want it to teach.
Message to My Younger Self
The unconventional path is available. It's harder than the script. It's lonelier at times. People will question your choices and suggest you're being unrealistic.
Creating a meaningful, momentum-driven life is possible through bold living and belief. But it requires courage. It requires accepting that some people won't understand. It requires trusting yourself when evidence is scarce.
You don't have to follow the blueprint someone else designed. You can design your own.
The men who inspire me most aren't the ones with the biggest achievements. They're the ones whose daily lives embody what they claim to value. That alignment is rare. It's also available to anyone willing to do the work.
Reflection Questions
Before you close this page, sit with these:
- What lesson would observers learn from watching your life replay?
- Are you settling or living with intention?
- What's one area where your life teaches the opposite of what you believe?
- What would change if you lived as if every moment was being watched?
Design Your Clear Purpose
The life you're living is the life you're teaching. Every day. Whether you choose it or not.
Take the free Own Your Week Scorecard to assess where you stand across all Core 4 pillars, and start living a life worth watching.
Because the most powerful thing you'll ever teach isn't what you say. It's what you do.